Penelope Birth Story - Part 4

So Penelope is born at 7:36pm on Saturday.  Sean, his parents and my sisters are all able to go see her in the NICU.  I am stuck in bed, drugged up on MAG, and confused.  I'm still seeing double, can't move my body at all, and feel very odd.  I can't describe the feeling...excited that she's alive and that we had our baby - but also really sad and jealous that everyone gets to see her but me.  Then I find out that they want to keep me on the MAG for 24 hours to make sure I am stable.  I can't tell you how upset that made me.  I wanted to start feeling better and see my baby and instead I'm stuck sucking on ice chips and feeling like I'm on heroine or something.  MAG is the worst crap on the planet.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I was a swollen slug mess

 Sean came back from seeing P in the NICU and showed me a picture on his phone of her.  I could barely see it because my vision was so messed up...but I knew she was beautiful.  I just started counting down the hours until I could get off the MAG and see her!  Sunday is a blur, literally, but I knew the end of my slug state was in sight!  At 7:30 pm on Sunday they finally took me off the MAG.  They made my bed sit up and I was still really REALLY out of it.


But then a nurse asked me a question I had been waiting for for 4 DAYS...."would you like something to eat and drink?"  UM YES!!! I had some ginger ale and a turkey sandwich.  Sean said that turkey sandwich looked absolutely disgusting - but I'll tell you what, that was the best sandwich I think I've ever had in my entire life.

The puffy slug eats! Horray!

After I eat a nurse comes by and tells us that they're transferring me to the regular post delivery area.  She also asks if I would like to swing by the NICU to see Penelope.  I'll be honest, I didn't know if I would be able to.  I told her I was scared I wouldn't be able to get into a wheel chair and I was so dizzy with the blurry double vision.  Sean said it broke his heart to hear that I wasn't sure I was up to seeing her.

So, another nurse comes in and the 2 of them plus Sean were able to get me into a wheel chair.  Once I was in there I decided...hey you know what?  I can go see her.  I can do this! I want to see my little girl!  So off we went!

Sean told me later that the nurses in the NICU asked him if he wanted to hold Penelope, and he told them that he wanted to wait and let me be the first person to hold her.  Isn't he amazing?!

They wheeled me down the hall and to the NICU...and there she was.  So beautiful and amazing with a full head of hair!  And I got to hold my baby for the first time!

First time mommy holds baby!

After that I started feeling better and better...and so did little Penelope! I was discharged the next day, my vision slowly improved, my legs started working again...and now I'm basically back to feeling like my old self.

As for Penelope - she's off all the tubes, no more IV's and now all she needs to do is gain weight.  We also got word that they're going to hopefully be transferring her out of Hopkins to our local hospital! This will be awesome as I'm pretty sure I can start feeding her soon so I'll be able to go right over there.  Right now I'm pumping and they're bottle feeding her...but we need to teach her to eat right from mama.  Things are just looking up and up.

isn't she beautiful?!

So, I don't want to end this on a low note..so I'll end with pictures...BUT I wanted to write a bit of caution.  If you EVER think that there is something wrong with your body, trust your instincts.  Doctors don't always listen to you.  If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong - push the issue.  I didn't.  I figured I was just being a baby and this was just how it was.  I now think that I had the signs of pre-e for quite some time.  Who knows, if I had pushed the issue they would have put me on bed rest and monitored me...and maybe I wouldn't have had to deliver this early.  OR they could have monitored me and not let it get to this level of severity before they did something about it.  I don't know...all I know is that I had a hunch that something was wrong, I told my doctors about my symptoms...and they missed it.  You have to be your own advocate.

So that's my story...

Ok, enough preaching...here are some more pictures of my precious little girl.  I can't wait until she gets home and I can just hold her and love her all day every day.  She is our little Peanut.

our fancy girl!

teeny tiny hand

Proud Daddy!